Lets just believe that my parent have no idea what they put me through. Because if they do, If they do put me in this state knowng how painful it would be fr me, I would be too pitiful..

Lets just believe that my parent do believe that they know me despite have a poor judgement of my personality. Because if they do understand really well how I think and react but say those worda anyway, I would be too pitiful.

Lets just believe that my parent are human with less capacity of controlling their emotion. Because if I keep reaching to them hoping they could act as a parent I’ve always wished, I’ll break down. Who knows how long it takes to collect all the pieces and put it back together..

Lets just put necessary distance, because if I cling too much, they might never be able to take a good look at me.

Look at me. Have some pity.
Despite trying my best to be the person you’ve wished, your harsh words will always weight my mind. It consume me.

Look at me. Have some pity.
Despite trying my best to never let any bad emotion escape, to continiusly take your anger and dissappointment is tiring me. Tired people tend to lose it.

Take a good look at me.
No.
You dont have to bother to do that.
Maybe its better for you just to shut your eyes. Turn your back on me.
It’s okay, I’ll never blame you. Even me myself already turn a blind eyes about me.

Just pretend that I never there.
To the point where I go numb.

Since I’m tired of hiding my swollen eyes,
since I’m tired of crying,
since I’m tired of dealing with nightmares,
Please.
Please just stop tormenting me.

Ah, it’s okay to torment me.
If its the only way to lessen your sadness or anger, it’s okay. If giving you happiness is an imposible dream, at least let me be your human sack. I hope my twisted love is not a burden to you.
Thats all I want.

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