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Damn Periods, thanks to you, I’ve been sleeping like a log since the pain from the cramps is just unbearable. I sleep and have a nightmare again and again but it doesn’t stop me from sleeping anyway

“Go away!”

Huh? Ah right. That was a dream. Ah.. I am sleepy, guess I’ll sleep some more..

I was at the market with a pair of newly bought shoes for Dad, humming all happily though it’s makes me seems weird. All of sudden, two of my used-to-be a close friend comes to my side. They were all arrogant and laughing while looking to this suspicious package that I have on my right hand.

What’s that? What’s that?“, they asked.

Looking at them who looked all classy, suddenly I feels so inferior and try to hide this pair of shoes. Well, I was buying the best shoes that I can buy. You can say that I spend my entire fortune for that gift. But this shoes can’t compare to the price of his watches or her veils. I feel so worthless. Instead of saying that this shoes is belong to my dad, I said that it’s for my brother – younger brother. Since he might grow bigger, it’s a waste to buy an expensive one.

Nope, that’s for your dad right? Admit it haha! Whaat. So cheap!“, they said.

That hurts, I know this is cheap but it worth a lot to me. I barely eat anything for so long just so I could save money to buy this shoes. Isn’t it mean to mock me that way? *cried

Then the guy suddenly grab my hand and hold it tight. I was flustered. To my side is the girl who also used-to-be my best friend, his woman. I was so so afraid of her jealousy and tried to shake his hand but of course it’s impossible. You see, he held my hand so tight that it almost makes me blush.

hei! She’s going to get mad at me! Let me go.“, I panicked.

who? You mean her? No, we are no longer an item“, you answered.

huh? What do you mean? I never heard about that..”, I asked

Well, of course you don’t. You’ve been so distant since I and her decide to go out”, you said.

ahaha, my bad. You know I am afraid most of a woman’s jealousy. All the more if the girl is my best buddy“, I replied.

You held me so tight and it feels kind of good. Maybe because I haven’t meet people for so long, or maybe I just missed the moment when all of us were purely friend who were so free. Just being by your side guys, makes me so joyful inside. I guess I do miss you guys..

It was a group of girls and boys singing a religious song. It was the song about the 99 name of ALLAH. We sing together while taking picture here and there. It has the air of a holiday and one of the guy make a move on me. Oh great, I feel good about that. Did I crave for a guy that much???

The last one was about my trip to a province, a hometown of a close friend. Her parent was watching some kind of device that keep on replying the picture and videos of their child and son in laws. I was there in those pictures and memories. Now it feels terrible,  to be in a memories. I feel so distant like I am about to be a memories to all. It’s like the feeling of a person who know that her time on earth is running out. That wasn’t nice.

But, nice or not I do miss them after all..