..My heart was crumpled. Again.. and again.. So I tried to iron it, just to let it be crumpled, again and again. Was it a family or was it a friend? Was it a mother or was it a sister? Was it a close friend or was it the only one I trusted? Was it you or was it them? ..Who was the one that left the trace of crumple heart?

source: marnierae

I tried to start a new, to pretend that the heart was never trampled. I was trying my best, to replace every trace of tears. So I talked to myself, trying to sooth the forgotten soul. Was it the sun or was it the moon? Was it the stars or was it the flickering light of the candle? What was it that I find blinding? Which was it that I find amazing?

I wish I have what it takes to forget and paint it white. Maybe to replace what need to be taken out. Silly me it’s not that easy. What was the result? Was it a fake memory or was it a mixed memory? Which of it was a nightmare? Which of it was a reality? Can I just pretend that all the bad taste were all the story of the night? I can’t trust my memory..

Truth is not having any memories might be a much better choice, when forgiving the past always left a bitter after taste. Ah, why was it crumpled again? Was it because I was a bad girl?

…when were I ever not the bad girl?

Whatever I accomplished, did any feels great? Does it makes me a selfish person, for not doing a selfish request?

..was it a mistake after all?

Knock knock, who’s there? Who was the one talking? Was it the sadness or was it the anger? Was it the miserable feeling or was it regret? Or perhaps was it the exhaustion?

Ah.. My heart is crumpled for the thousands times. Is it because I am a bad girl?

I want to iron it, but why does it look so ugly..?